Working as a temp provides many perks. Leaving on a whim, for example. Taking long breaks between assignments is another one. Switching employers if relationships are less than ideal, or putting up with bad conditions knowing that you’re out of there in two paychecks’ time.

However, if like me you have been temping in the same job for over one and a half years, it’s bye bye to perks, and hello to all the disadvantages, among which no sick pay. If you are careless enough to let a bug bite you, you must deal with the consequence of money stopping trickling into your bank account until you’re back on your feet.

This is why I am off to work on enough Sudafed to put a horse to sleep, and will probably spend the rest of the day knocking down Red Bull to fight the drowsiness.

High-flying ad executives twitch at their desks on coke. Me, I shall sneak into the toilets for a quick snog with my Night Nurse every now and then.