Month: October 2004

dawn

It’s blody 4am, I bloody had a bloody 2-hour nap and I bloody just got a bloody text message waking me up saying people are already queuing outside bloody Trade (and yes, all of them have tickets) and I should

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java9

Stop press. Benjy now rebranded its filter coffee. Big a-board outside the shop asking people why they should pay more across the street (where there’s a Starbucks). White polystyrene cups now decorated with warm brown and blue pattern and a

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java8

My coffee table: Shop Branch Price Size (oz) Price per litre Mode Shop Branch Price Size (oz) Price per litre Mode McDonalds Whitehall £1.09 12 £3.07 Kenko, machine Nero St Martin’s Lane £1.70 16 £3.59 3 espresso shots Wild Bean

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java7

Parts one, two, three, four, five and six. Having run out of places to get my coffee, today I visited Pret and Starbucks again, to check how their coffee is made and how many shots there are in a large

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java6

Parts one, two, three, four and five. Yesterday morning: Burger King, Charing Cross station. £1.09 for a 12oz cup of what is basically Nescafé with a dash of hot water – for the price of a jar of coffee powder.

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java5

Parts one, two, three and four. God I miss Nero, but as the Great Icelandic Man used to say, ‘I’ve started so I’ll finish‘. Yesterday morning: the coffee chain that I used to work in and that I shall refrain

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ring

6ft (183cm) Inflatable Reindeer. B&Q, £49.98. Anus piercing included. Can be used as a discreet festive keyring. Stop smirking, Frosty – you might be next!

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file

I guess it had to happen sooner or later: the Which File Extension Are You? quiz (via Tom). You are .gif Sometimes you are animated, but usually you just sit there and look pretty. …and you are also even later

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java4

Parts one, two and three. Quick, quick, I am late for work! Damn Neil from Comptons and his five year managament birthday last night with all drinks at one pound fifty… Friday morning: no coffee. No food or drink for

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java3

Parts one and two Yesterday morning: filter coffee from the permanent pot at the gym. At 7am this is best described as a lovely near-transparent weak brew that my Frensh shum Anne would call ‘Jus de chaussettes’ (socks juice). Unfortunately,

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java2

First part here. Yesterday morning: Pret, Trafalgar square. 1 pound 25 pence for similar size (as far as I could tell – I left the empty cup at work so I can’t check now). Plus: there’s only one size, and

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java

My two absolutely most worstest traits of my character are Procrastination and Perfectionism. The result? If I could have it my way, things would never get done. So I’m just going to go ahead, OK? NB: for the purpose of

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here

Still around. Never went away. Just a couple of weeks of intensive work towards a deadline – which in the public sector, I just found out, means “You decide to go live with the redesigned websites whenever you are ready.

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time

Mini-Minogue: unit of time, corresponds to the duration of Dannii‘s new single You Won’t Forget About Me. Best used on repeat, as in “The walk from my front door to the tube station is just a little over two Mini-Minogues”,

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fine

Tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be… arrested! Stroke of genius. Serves them right. However entertaining, I am not sure the proceedings should be screened though (from – yes, you guessed it – Five).

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peel

Rushing through Trafalgar Square yesterday lunchtime to grab a cup of coffee, I saw a bright yellow unfamiliar blotch on my left. Bananas? Yes, bananas. Loads. Art, apparently.

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miss

G.I. hunk came to see us again yesterday at work, planning to upgrade the operating system on my computer. Once again, he could not work on my machine, and he dismissed me by saying “I’ll have to do you some

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