Month: January 2004

maps

The countries in red are those I’ve ever set foot into. Not a lot, I know, but have you ever been to Liechtenstein? I crossed it. Walked through it. Took me a whole afternoon. Of course I have not been

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sews

Subversive embroidery as anger management therapy: putting the cross back in cross stitch. [via anarChic]

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boom

Atomic split? The kittens need to take time out, deny a long-term break-up, announce the release of a forthcoming greatest hits album, and plan to concentrate on their solo careers. Three times as much poop on the music market, then.

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pole

Hit that penguin! Click anywhere and the penguin drops. Click again to swing the bat to hit it. C-c-cold…

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jugs

“Are you tired of struggling with slipping straps and bulky pads?” Erm, not really, no. Until I saw this stick-on bra that promises to give me a “soft ad [sic] natural seamless strapless breast form shape”. Ok, I just want

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snug

I am not one who shies away from unconventional dress sense, be it half a foot roll-ups on my calf-length jeans or pinstripe trousers tucked into 80’s legwarmers, paired up with a golf cap (it seemed like a good idea

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liza

From the Secret Diaries of Liza Minnelli (unauthorized): “I remember lying there in the hospital recovering from the insertion of one of my new hips, chatting with the Pet Shop Boys, who had produced my latest album. “Boys,” I said,

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mate

When the officer welcomed me with a smile, I could not believe my eyes. I checked around me and the bands of brightly coloured nylon confirmed that yes, I was at the Job Centre indeed. She asked me about my

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milk

Maaad cow. Foul language. Moo. Pasteurise that, bitch!

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hoax

Ladies and Gentlemen, Downloading of Movies, MP3s and Software is illegal and punishable by law. We hereby inform you that your computer was scanned under the IP 62.241.246.219 . The contents of your computer were confiscated as an evidence, and

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jump

Hold me, I’ll give you all that you need Wrap your love around me You’re so excited, I can feel you getting hotter, oh baby […] When you are next to me, (Oooo) Oh, I come alive (yeah) Your love

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soft

Microsoft sues Canadian 17 year old Mike Rowe and asks for his domain Mike Rowe Soft to be transfered over because it is a homophone of Bill Gates’ little business. [a homophone is not a premium rate same sex chat

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burn

The British Phonographic Industry has announced it may sue UK song-swappers. Shall I start looking around for a good lawyer? Harry Hamlin in LA Law will do nicely thank you very much. I can’t remember where I read (Guardian Online

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pass

The Italian consulate in London provides an excellent passport service: you just go there with two photos and they issue it (or renew it if that’s the case) while you wait. What they do not tell you is that the

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loaf

I love bread. I could bite your hand to get to the last slice. I could live on it alone – in fact, I lived on it for a while in Paris (bread and camembert cheese dipped in milky coffee

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dick

The epitome of good taste: a magnet shaped like one of those Amsterdam column things, made to resemble a yellow cock surrounded by tulips. Classy. I have no idea how it got on our fridge though. Must question flatmate. [click

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lift

Mr Silvio “no matter what I say, I can always excuse myself saying that I meant it as a joke” Berlusconi has not been seen around for a couple of weeks. People were starting to fear an episode of ill-health

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iced

Just noticed on Iceland‘s pack of “5 (Average) skinless & boneless chicken breast fillets” (frozen, 615g, buy one get one free, £4.99): with added water for succulence I suppose they find it appetite-whetting to watch a piece of meat shrink

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lean

If you are one of the millions of people who took out gym memberships after the holidays, and your motivation is already failing you, I recommend you to boost it by looking at this man and especially his gallery of

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used

I am not averse to wearing some stranger’s discarded clothes that I pick up from charity shops – there’s nothing a good boiling in the washing machine will not get rid of. I used to draw the line at stepping

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mini

Don’t you just want to lick it? At last an iPod with a smaller hard drive than my laptop. Available worldwide from April. I shall now greedily search for ways to have my birthday officially moved back a couple of

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stop

I could indulge in a lengthy narration on how last week I was taken to hospital again (Watford Central, this time – lovely baby blue walls, and nasty nurse who shaved one square bald patch on each of my pecs

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knot

What opportunity is available to homosexual – and unmarried heterosexual – couples in France, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, Portugal, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Iceland, Luxembourg and in the Spanish regions of Catalunya, Aragona and Navarra (and will shortly be in

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